APRIL SNOW SHOWERS BRING OUT THE GRUMPS
I've been neglecting my blog these days and my only excuse at this point in time is "LIFE." The past couple of months have not been without blog-worthy joy, stress, emotion or fun, but the chaos that comes with everyday life with two toddlers has been all-consuming. Instead of writing at the end of the day, I have been decompressing with an adult beverage of some sort, music and M&M's (if I'm lucky). I realize that this is perhaps not the ideal stress reliever (what would Dr.Phil say?) but it works. Still, I have missed the writing. Especially when I am overcome with emotion much like I was this morning when I looked out the window to see at least 5+ inches of new snow piled on top of my car. I was discouraged, to say the least. But all I needed to do was look at one picture to take me to my happy place:




















My sweet baby nephew Owen Thomas taking it all in on the lanai in Hawaii. TCT and PMT would certainly approve...

SERIOUSLY?

"I GOT SOME FANCY SHOES TO TRY AND GIGGLE AWAY THESE BLUES"
My brother and sister-in-law introduced me to Brett Dennen a while back and I've since then been listening to his albums and enjoying his music more and more every day. The other night I played this song (loudly) as I prepared dinner (with wine in hand) and as I listened to the lyrics it literally stopped me in my tracks. Although it was not the first time I had heard this song, it moved me for the first time. I listened to it over and over because in some small insignificant fashion I could relate to what he was saying even though I hadn't a clue as to what he was singing so passionately about. I didn't care. It didn't matter. It made me happy. It made me miss my parents. And think about where I am. What I've lost and what I have. It moved me.

When I heard the news, My heart fell on the floor
I was on a plane on my way to Baltimore
In these trouble times it's hard enough as it is
My soul has a known a better life than this

I wonder how so many can be in so much pain,
While others don't seem to feel a thing
Then I curse my whiteness, and I get so damn depressed,
In a world with suffering, Why should I be so blessed?

I heard about a women who lives in Colorado,
She built a monument of sorts behind the garage door
Where everyday she prays for all whom are born
And all whose souls have passed on

Sometimes my trouble gets so thick
I can't see how I'm gonna get through it
but then I'd rather be stuck up in a tree Then be tied to it
There is so much more.

I don't feel comfortable with the way my clothes fit
I can't get used to my body's limits
I got some fancy shoes to try and giggle away these blues
(red peep toes, with bow)
They cost a lot of money but they arent worth a thing
(don't worry baby)

I wanna free my feet from the broken glass and concrete
I need to get out of this city
Lay apon the ground stare a hole in the sky
Wondering where I go when I die When I die.

MY KIND OF TREE
From Shanghai China, this tree was made with 1,000 full Heineken beer bottles. I don't really know why, but I would have never guessed you'd see a tree like this in China . . . my front yard perhaps, but not in China.

DIDN'T WE COVER THIS IN PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING?
RULE #3
Never mock your wife for having a chocolate stash.

RULE #2
Instead, a husband must try very hard to appreciate and understand the importance of the stash.

RULE #1
Never take the last Ghirardelli dark chocolate caramel square from your wife's stash and leave the empty bag (insert dramatic gasp here) without fessing up to the crime or replacing it with something of equal or greater value within minutes of the incident.

Bottom line: A stash isn't a stash without the goods. Don't mess.

I am thankful for . . .
OWEN THOMAS TIERNEY
(who will soon be introduced to Hippo, Hello Kitty, pink sequins, tights, princess dresses and Little Ponies.

IT'S GOTTA BE THE POLKA-DOTS
So last week was my birthday and I was given this card by Tierney and Parker via Casey. The words were sweet but after I read the card aloud and showed the picture to the girls, Casey-- apparently not knowing any better-- asked, "Who does that look like?" To my horrific surprise, both Tierney and Parker responded (in unison . . . with much confidence and enthusiasm): "M-O-M-M-Y!"

Shall I just make the Ambush Makeover call myself?

TEXTBOOK MOTHERING
So it's Halloween and while we've done our fair share of celebrating the season, I've certainly had better years. (Okay, so . . . Martha would probably snub me in a crowded room, but I'd tell her my story anyway). My only excuse is that I caught some kind of crud a couple of weeks ago that has by far, without a doubt, been the most bizarre illness I've ever experienced: fatigue, sore throat, cough with impressive green stuff on day one, more cough, chills at night, fatigue, a shift up north into the sinuses, dry cough, fluid in ears, fluid in sinuses, more fatigue, not much of a voice (Tierney and Parker insert thank you here), cough attacks in the middle of the night, cravings that only consist of sweet and salty things-- Diet 7-up, chocolate and popcorn to be exact . . . including 4 day old popcorn from Target-- with no signs of getting better. In the scheme of things? No biggie. Could have been swine flu. But as mentioned before, it is a big deal when your job is a stay at home mom. But we've already covered that topic and I'd hate to come across as a whiner. . .

And so the one night I should probably just stay home and watch a movie with the kids, I decide we should carve pumpkins. Casey had to work late, the kids had had a long day, I was still hacking up green stuff . . . the stars were aligned. It was the perfect night to be crafty. Since my doctor didn't prescribe me any of the "special" cough syrup, I figured I'd take matters into my own hands and grab some wine at the store. Imagine the scenario-- Fred Meyer liquor store, shopping cart full of Halloween goodies, misc. groceries, 3 pumpkins and two toddlers. Tierney and Parker are behaving fairly well considering the overwhelming anticipation as the 3 pumpkins stare at them in the face while I try to concentrate and focus on finding something-- anything-- that will satisfy my bizarre cravings. I grab a bottle of white, a bottle of red, and a bottle of champagne (random, but it sounded good at the time). Tierney and Parker, entertaining themselves, are jumping up and down while watching themselves on the security monitor. Not perfectly behaved children but not bad either. I'm just relieved that they're not tipping over bottles of wine while I'm not watching. My selections had been made and I was checking out when all of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see our shopping cart falling on top of Tierney . . . pumpkins and all. After realizing that Tierney was going to survive the incident, I couldn't figure out whether or not I was mortified or relieved. Of course there were 3 or 4 others in line who kindly helped me pull the cart off of her, handed me my keys, purse and Hippo but I couldn't help but think to myself, "Am I that mom right now?" I concluded that I, indeed WAS that mom, carried on and decided to brush off any/all judgements that may have been made in that line. Not my finest moment. I get it. I cared, but I really didn't. Because that would require energy that I didn't have. But it was awkward and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. At least Tierney was okay. It could have been worse. Much worse. Like her accident resulting in a trip to the Emergency Room where I would be forced to tell the nurse the story about Mommy needing a cocktail to "cure her cough". . . I'd never live that one down. Yes, it could have been worse.

Anyhow, we made it home safely-- with a few minor bruises-- where we had a fun night of carving pumpkins (turns out it was more like "Lets watch mommy carve the pumpkins while we supervise"). But we all had fun, the wine was my candy, and my cough was cured for the night. It wasn't pretty, but we all survived the night together.

TWINKLE
It's been 22 days we lost Casey's dad. Just the other day we were sitting side-by-side in his cozy, memory-filled living room talking about the remodel, the lake, pre-school, licorice, cookies, Casey, our dreams at night, my dad . . . and about losing someone you love. Over the years I've heard people talk about the tremendous respect they had for him as Mayor, how he was a tough negotiator, and how he ran a tight ship at home. But when I think about him, one word comes to mind: sweet. In my mind, Mr. Sullivan was the epitome of sweet. And love. And gentle. And warmth. And kindness.

And his eyes really did twinkle.

Especially when he was in the presence of, and talking about, the love of his life, his children and his grandchildren. My heart breaks for Casey because I know. I feel sad for Tierney and Parker because they probably won't remember Grandpa. But we will certainly show them pictures, and tell stories, and share memories and celebrate him every day which will hopefully paint a clear picture of everything and all that he was.

But for now, Grandpa is on vacation-- an extended trip where he is finally with Grandma, Gramps and Nana. Among many things (the moms having already exchanged soup recipes), I envision Grandma asking Mr. Sullivan, "What took you so long?" . . . Nana wanting to know all about the details of the children and grandchildren . . . and Gramps, with a wide grin on his face and a scotch in each hand, asking him, "Can I buy you a drink?" as he anticipates finally telling Mr. Sullivan his version of the break-in story.

only a mom could love that hair . . . only a daughter could love those glasses. unconditional love at its finest.

6 YEARS AGO TODAY
It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years since I lost my mom. While I've stopped the instinctual habit of picking up the phone to call her, sometimes it feels like just yesterday we were sharing a soft pretzel together on the white bench at the 5th avenue mall. If I knew our time together would be cut short, I would have never insisted on always bogarting the nacho cheese that accompanied her pretzel. Of course there are a few more things I'd take back, but all in all, I couldn't have asked for a better mom or relationship with her. I know I was lucky to have that. I just miss it-- and her-- terribly.